Since I have some time at the moment, I'm gonna do the Week Two post two days prematurely.
I'll start out by saying that I'm so excited that Chris is doing this also! It's much easier to stick to something when you have some accountability and encouragement. Furthermore, I can very much identify with his perspective. I, too, have struggled my entire life with my weight.
I was an active child, involved in softball, basketball, and gymnastics. My preferred method of transportation was my bicycle. My childhood BFF and I rode around our neighboorhood daily. However, despite all of those things, around fourth grade I looked up and realized I was "the fat girl" (with a little help from classmates, of course). All pictures from fourth to eighth grade have been ceremoniously burnt (the glasses, braces, and bad perm didn't help matters), save one that someone slipped into the high school yearbook as a "flashback". They are still at the top of my hit list ;) I didn't make the 7th or 8th grade basketball team. The coach told me my skills were decent, but my size hurt me. Long story short, the summer between 7th and 8th grade I began the first of many, many rounds of dieting and lost 25 pounds.
Luckily before high school, the perm grew out, the braces came off, and I started exploring contact lenses. I gained the weight back at about the same rate as I was getting taller. Show choir and marching band kept me moving on a daily basis. I still hid under t-shirts and blue jeans, never feeling confident ... A guy I dated told me "I wasn't 'fat' just 'thick'." Very comforting.
College brought the Freshman Fifteen ... each semester. My activity came to a screeching halt, paired the stress of a major life change. There were bouts of attempted weight loss: the three months I spent on the Crew team, the year my roommates and I became students of Mari Windsor Pilates ... but each effort was fleeting. I graduated college 40 pounds heavier than college. Then I got married. Then I had a baby. Then I got a divorce. Can we say Weight Gain Extravaganza??
The purpose of this story is to bring us to this quote, which I think Chris echoes:
"Live out of your imagination, not your history."
~Steven Covey
Sure, my genetic code doesn't lay the blueprint for a life of bikini summers. However, I have the power to fight it. Growing up, my father was a big, cuddly, 300 pound man. He is now 210 pound heart disease survivor and avid 5k runner. He refused to let his past behavior write the script for a life of obesity. He proves to me that this is possible.
Week two has brought the typical mixed emotions. The dieting is starting to feel like normalcy. One night, I splurged and had pizza and beer, but kept it within reason. The exercise is easier at the beginning of the week when I'm well rested. Last night's run took an internal pep talk to begin. In short, it's proving to be possible as a lifestyle.
Again, I'm not sure how much weight I have lost, however, I will be doing an "official" weigh-in tonight, which I will post the results of. This journey is so far beyond numbers, though. It's about proving to myself that I do not always have to be "the fat girl". My dad doesn't always have to come drag me over the 5k finish line. I can have self-control and confidence. I can lay the foundation for a healthy, active lifestyle for my son. In short, I can live out my imagination, not my history.
~KL
